RIP Larry Mitchell

Rest In Peace, Larry B. Mitchell

My step-father, Larry Mitchell, died peacefully in his home on July 2nd, 2026, at just past 2:00 A.M. He will be missed.

The following are the remarks I shared at his funeral.

Commitment, Dependability, Family, Generosity, Monogamy, Service, and Caring. These are the values my mom believes Larry held most dearly. Sadly, I didn't get the chance to ask him to make this list for himself before he died, but I think my mom nailed it when I asked her to do so. How I have referred to him - dad, Larry, my stepfather - largely depended on who I was around and how much they understand about my family makeup, but how I have referred to him is much less important than how he chose to live his life, which is what I’ll be focusing on today. Here is how I believe Larry B. Mitchell lived those values.

Commitment Larry was always one to follow through on what he said he'd do. In my younger years, he imposed this value on me, sometimes with consequence. It wasn't until my older years that I finally learned the importance of following through, but once I got it, I got it. I'm pretty sure anyone who knew him learned this lesson from him as well. He saw things through, until the end, and usually did so with a smile.

Dependability More than just following through, we all learned the value of showing up when we said we would. This was a particularly important lesson for me as a child. I know that being a stepfather to me wasn't easy...I...wasn't easy, but knowing that someone was going to be there as a father figure, even when it was difficult for me to accept, was crucial to me. On May 26th of this year, I suffered a severe back injury on my mountain bike. Not long after having been admitted to the Trauma unit at Intermountain Medical Center, I looked up to see Larry enter the room with my mom. He was there when it counted, always, for me and for many others.

Family We have families of origin and we have families of choice. Like the rest of us, Larry had both. From a young age, being "adopted" by a pigeon flyer, he learned that families are often more than the people you're related to, and when he married my mom, he took on more family responsibilities than perhaps he knew. Taking on two young boys born of another man was not an easy task. Continuing to parent us the best way he knew how as we grew older (and more rebellious) was likely one of his greatest challenges, and yet, he saw it through. He worked hard to provide all of his kids with the similar opportunities, despite us being, as my mom used to say, "yours, mine, and ours." He was overjoyed when Mark and Julie would come to visit and always had a borderline-off-color joke to share with his brother-in-law, Brent. He adopted Grandma and Grandpa call as if they were his own parents and became an adopted brother to Dennis and grandfather to, Laz and Jocelyn.

Generosity Whether it be with his time, his expertise, or his money, Larry was known to be very giving. From talking through car problems on the phone, teaching new mechanics the ins and outs of the job, giving pigeons with great potential to new flyers, helping with a loft build or some other project that involved plywood, or finding someone a sweet deal on a used car that may need to be driven a long distance for delivery, his giving ways were well known to others. This may be one of his most enduring traits, as I know his influence carries on in each of our lives.

Monogamy Let me tell you the story of the Double Debbies. As is mentioned in his obituary, my mom and Larry met at Parents Without Partners. However, as my mom tells the story, he actually ended up going to that meeting with another woman named Debbie. My mom...wasn't having it. She made her move and also made sure that he left with her that night, not the tart who shared her name.

All jokes aside, Larry was a committed husband and example to his kids of how to see a relationship through, even when disagreements arise. I remember him clearly telling me that changing girlfriends is simply an exercise in choosing what "issues" I want to deal with; there was some truth to that. This, of course, was his way of helping me understand that every relationship was going to have challenges, but the best ones came about when two people could accept and accommodate the others’ strengths and shortcomings.

Service In the early 2000’s, I remember my mom calling to tell me that Larry had been called to serve as a nursery teacher at their ward; I don't think I stopped laughing for a couple of minutes. Little did he know, this calling was the start of a series of callings that ultimately resulted in his service in the bishopric. He had served before in church callings, but this was different. I recall this as a time when I began to experience a softer side of him; something that was at the time, very foreign to me. He was so faithful in his service that he showed up to church one week as a clean-shaven man, having lopped off the Fu Manchu stash he'd worn since long before I came into his life. I know he was doubtful of his ability to complete this duty at first, but carried it out faithfully and diligently as he had so many other things. His service, wasn’t always voluntary. Having been drafted into the Vietnam war, he experienced things that I would’t understand until I was well into my career as a therapist. He rarely spoke of his experience in the war, but when he did I listened and today, my work with Veterans is more informed because of what I learned.

Caring I don't think most people really know what it takes to provide for hundreds of pigeons. I assume, on some level, it's about as much work as caring for 4 kids (and 6 during some summers). Being a man of few words at times, Larry showed his care for others through actions. After one of my many youthful misdeeds (I don't remember which), he took me to the Century Theaters to see the movie Ghost. To this day, I don't recall exactly what he said to me about it as we were sitting in the El Camino afterward, but I do recall feeling his care and concern for the path I was heading down. He cares for his belongings, sure, but it was his care for others that showed through the most.

Of course, none of this is to sugarcoat the life he lived. Like all of us, he was an imperfect person, but despite his human fallibility, he lived a full and values-driven life, often thinking of others in his day-to-day decisions. In this corner of the world that he occupied for 75 years, now exists a very large hole in it that won’t be filled. Dad, I love you and you will be missed.